The Facebook Friends of Shame - Round 1

By Ben Palmer December 12, 2010 | 1,200 Views

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I have too many friends on my Facebook. I have decided to get rid of 10 of them. I have compiled a list of names of the people I have deleted from my friend list and the reasons that each one of them were deleted.

I present to you...

THE FACEBOOK FRIENDS OF SHAME

Mahnya Ashleey

How I know her: Former coworker/acquaintance

Reason: Her status updates are way too personal. Who wants to hear this crap? No one cares, Mahnya. Here is an example of a status update she had recently:

Mahnya is trying to figure out how to fix things and make us right again cuz Lord knows I dont want no one else but SHAUN. A couple of days later… Mahnya has never been so emotional, i cry over him all day, i cried cuz i had to go to the bathroom for the 3rd time in a hour and so much more!!! Mahnya please!! No one cares!!!! Thanks for playing! We enjoyed you on the show!

Sara Almendinger

How I know her: Friend that I never talk to anymore

Reason: Her last name is Almendinger. What kind of last name is that? Almendinger, you’re outta here!!!!!!!!!!!

Wu Chinhui

How I know him/her: No idea

Reason: Wu Chinhui, who are you? Do you even know who I am? Are you even a real person? Wu Chinhui…you…are…GONE!!!!!

Ryan Danson

How I know him: Childhood friend

Reason: Ryan was my best friend growing up, up until I was about eleven years old. Then I moved and we never talked again. When I found him on Facebook I wrote him a message and he never replied. Ryan, you could have been my friend if you would have responded to my message, but now it’s too late. This is my revenge, Ryan. I hope you enjoy it. It’s over Ryan. It’s over.

Jennifer Lepole

How I know her: Former coworker, I think…

Reason: Her profile picture is a flower. Get out.

Souad McCume

How I know her: Friend of a friend

Reason: She is in the group “Why bother, the Cleveland Indians are winning the world series in 2007.”

Okay, Souad let me tell you something. First off, it’s 2009. Second off, the Indians didn’t win the World Series in 2007. If you update your groups we can be friends again. Until then, YOU ARE HISTORY!!!!!!!!

Mark Cohen

How I know him: Former coworker

Reason: He has his shirt off in his profile picture. That’s not as bad as the fact that he has man boobs. Matt, take your man boobs and be gone.

Quani Darbi

How I know her: I don’t think I do

Reason: This was a random selection. I closed my eyes, scrolled down a couple clicks, and looked at the first name I saw when my eyes open. I’m glad it was her. I was going to delete whoever I saw. The random selection was not going to show anyone mercy. Best friend, family member, it didn’t matter. I was going to delete that person. So I’m kind of relieved that it’s someone I don’t even know.

Janay Nicole

How I know her: Former coworker although I don’t remember anything about her.

Reason: She posted this status update:

Janay is now accepting applications for my Valentine...Positions r filling up fast ?.

First of all…no. Second of all…this status update is too happy. And I don’t like the way she whores herself around to be someone’s valentine. Janay, happy Valentines Day, you have been X’ed.

Shaun Rice

How I know him: Brother in law

Reason: He told me to “suck it” on one of my status updates.

I don’t really want to delete him, but I figured I would do it and make him beg to become my friend again. I wish I would have done this before he married my sister, because then I would have been able to use this as leverage to grant him my blessing. I want him to beg for my mercy. How bad do you want be my friend, Shaun? Huh? How bad, buddy? Do you really love my sister? Do you? Huh? Huh?

Ahahahahahahaha Thank you for reading THE TEN FACEBOOK FRIENDS OF SHAME. Be careful, you could be next.

http://palmersprayers.blogspot.com

Up next: The Facebook Friends of Shame - Round 2