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October 20, 2017
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A 30 year old woman has been detained by police after it was discovered that she had become intimately involved with a minor.

A 30 year old woman has been detained by police after it was discovered that she had become intimately involved with a minor.

The woman was said to be aware of the child’s age, even though he had taken on the appearance of a 30 year old man. The legal age of consent in New York is 17 and as a result, the woman faces being incarcerated for several years. Her claims that the boy used a mechanical fortune teller to speed his aging process overnight are being investigated, but it is unlikely they will have any impact on her sentence.

An opinionated local commented:

I don’t care how old you look. Some people look older than they are, some younger. The fact is that this kid was under the age of consent. He was a minor. I hope the authorities make an example of her.

Suspicions that the adult looking male had the mental age of a 12 year old had been circling for a while. Reports claim his apartment was filled with toys and neighbours had spotted him jumping on his bed repeatedly. In addition, one local shop owner was particularly angered at the man-child’s ‘overuse and blatant disregard’ for the store’s flagship walking piano:

The piano is for everyone, but this individual insisted on playing the same redundant tune over and over again. It was infuriating. Several keys needed replacing and multiple customers were driven away. We had no choice but to ban him from the store.

Pressed further on the appearance of the male in question, he continued:

He looked about 30, but from his sheer playfulness and the youthful look in his eyes, there were no doubts in my mind that this was a pre-teen in the guise of an adult.

The child is said to have used the machine to return to his 12 year old form and has reportedly been bragging about his sordid encounters with the adult woman ever since. Meanwhile, experts are attempting to identify and track down the device that enabled the child to age and de-age so dramatically, in the hope of ending the aging process for humanity completely.

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