Sometimes when you’re feeling all fucked up by The Man you need some comfort food. This big sloppy hot dog disaster and a joint is all you need to get back to feeling A+.
Come on down and pick up this shit:
- 1 Mostly-Non-Natural-Free Hot DogzTM hot dog (any color)
- 1 Rutabaga, which I think is a purple thing?
- 1 X-tra large bottle of X-ceedTM Cheese Oil (No substitutions, trust us on this one!)
- Beige food coloring
Run the rutabaga through your juicer. Boil your hot dog in the rutabaga juice. Pour it all into a big ugly handmade bowl that you bought from the Co-op because you’re such a loyal dumbfuck. Customer.Whatever.
In a small mixing bowl, tint your cheese oil with beige food coloring. The beiger the better. Like, for serious. You might wanna buy two bottles of this beige shit. It’s prob’ly on sale cuz we’re trying to get rid of it fast.
Pour the beige cheese oil over your hot dog cheese explosion. Be sure to take a picture of it and post it on fb before you eat it, or else you’ll probably get loneliness poisoning, which is like a real thing now.
Serves one lonely bastard