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1. To prepare for his role in “Monk”, Tony Shalhoub did not talk to anybody for eight years.

2. Before becoming an actor, Tony Shalhoub and his father ran a very unsuccessful chain of oil change and automotive service centers called “Jiffy Shalhoub”.

3. Tony Shalhoub did not serve in Vietnam.

4. Tony Shalhoub’s penis has the exact same size, shape, density, and texture as one-eighth of your average Jamaican grapefruit.

5. Tony Shalhoub turned down a $50 million contract with Taco Bell to star in a line of promotions for “Tony Shalhoub-a’s Chalupas”, because he was afraid of so much as being in the same room as one.

6. Sometimes Tony Shalhoub emits a whine so high-pitched that only germs can hear it.

7. Tony Shalhoub once walked right by a store having a fire sale and bought nothing. 

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8.Tony Shalhoub appeared in the “Men and Black” films, despite being your textbook white guy.

9.Tony Shalhoub is actually a trained Tony Shalhoub whisperer.

10.Tony Shalhoub once took a photograph of Ryan Gosling breaking up a fight.

11.Tony Shalhoub was the first person ever to request a sandwich with the crusts cut off.

12.Tony Shalhoub once did a photoshoot for “Playgirl” on a dare. There were no survivors.

13.Tony Shalhoub’s favorite playwright is George Bernard Shaw-loub.

14.Tony Shalhoub once won the lottery, and forget to tell anybody.

15.To psych themselves up before a concert, the band “Asia” looks at a picture of Tony Shalhoub.

16. 14,823 people have told Tony Shalhoub, among meeting him, “Oh, I know you! What’s your name again?”

17. Tony Shalhoub was once at a restaurant and was served a salad that didn’t even have any dressing on it, and forget to say anything to the waiter.

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18. Tony Shalhoub’s name backwards is “BALLAAAHHHS! Why not?” , sort of.

19. Tony Shalhoub doesn’t settle. He Tony Shalhoubs.

20. Every eight months Tony Shalhoub shaves his head and donates his hair to charity. They often send it back.

21. There’s a rather good chance Tony “Illiterate” Shalhoub will never read this list. 

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