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September 28, 2011

Today, the Mates give a few tips on how to find yourself in the VIP section of your favorite club. Presented by Funny or Die and Pepsi Max!

5. Be a woman - This one is pretty self-explanatory.  Often times the easiest way to find yourself in the VIP is to use what you were given. In this case, a delicate frame and ladyparts.

4. Disguise yourself as a waiter - A classic. Chloroform a waiter, steal the outfit, and deliver a few drinks.  However, it may be difficult to stay in the VIP once you've dropped off the drinks.  Easy solution is to chloroform a star up there, dress them as the waiter, and wear the star's clothes.  Repeat for all witnesses.

3. Be a super attractive woman - Similar to #5, but your chances do increase if you were blessed with a good figure and pretty face.

2. Get famous - This one might take a few days, but is totally do-able. Our recommendation?  Star in a bad music video.  If that fails, sleep with a political figure. Notoriety may not be as good as fame, but they work pretty much the same way.

1. Be a super attractive woman with huge breasts - See #5 and #3.  Trust us. Those doormen are only thinking with one part of their bodies.  And that's their eyes.  Which are staring at your huge breasts.