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Published September 07, 2009 More Info »
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Published September 07, 2009
"Eva Mendes sitting on my face."
 
was gonna be the mantra I was to use before every stand-up gig. Yeah, I thought about doing stand-up, but then I just chickened out. Anyway, I've read (through audiobooks) about "The Secret" and the whole notion of the Law of Attraction where your thoughts transmit waves & whatnot, and how you can wish for something & it'll appear. But you have to be tremendously focused & clear-headed so that your signal will have more resonance, or something like that. Then I was gonna go on some spiel about ADD & how it takes much effort (silence & raised heartrate) for me to be focused, and because my thought signal would be slightly off so would the message I would receive back. Which is basically a friend calling me up with...

  ...........................................................................FRIEND
...............................................Bro, check it out! Eva Mendes is takin' a shit!

  ...........................................................................SONNY
...............................................No way! Where?

  .......................................................................... FRIEND
...............................................On MySpace!
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