Full Credits

Larry David - the original Boldist (boy, you sure dissapointed your mentor and the man who made you - didn't you Jason?)
The toupee manufacturer association - I'd like to declare that no rat was hurt during the writing of this funny. I'm afraid I can't say that regarding the good people of the T.M.A.

Stats & Data

October 24, 2011

Just like my homie Biggie used to say: Mo' hair - mo' problems.

O.K. I'm sitting here watching a live braodcast of a Jason Alexander interview. Mr. Can't-Stand-Ya is in the Middle East right now, representing an organisation called OneVoice. The basic scheme here is to make peace between the Beards and the Heebs. But lo and behold - what's that little mat'o'hair doing on your head? Are you that proud of the contents of your bathroom drain? 
Y'all have to understand just how volatile the political situation in the M.E. is right now. For about a year now, millions of poeple have been rioting in almost every Arab country. They've taken down Dictators who've been in power for decades. Governments are falling, the people are rising - and you show up with a fuckin' skunk on your head? What does it even MEAN?
Spokespersons, representing the Islamistic propoganda machine (run by Iran, Syria, Hizballah and Hammas), showed up on every news broadcast - with a single message: The more hair on your head/face/body - the more you're down with the peoplez.
The Israeli government contradicted that notion, claiming that in biblical times - wearing a a small, rat-hair Yamaca, was an unmistakable sign of a person's repentment, and his yearning to 'come-back' to proper Jewish practices.
So look what you've done, jason. The whole region is gearing up to an all-out nuclear-ballistic war. Where are you going to hide - under that little rug?
Please, please don't fly out to that Seinfeld convention in Beijing - we don't want this to escalate to a WW3, right?