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Published September 29, 2008 More Info »
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Published September 29, 2008

Today I received a phone call from my Dad.

Son: Hey Dad.

Father: Your Uncle's in jail.

Son: Ok.

In my family certain things are not shocking. One of them is a teenage relative getting pregnant. Another is my Uncle Dave going to jail.

Father: He got caught with some of his pills and stuff.

My Uncle Dave has in the past led police on a high speed chase, assaulted five state troopers and ran a counterfeit food stamp business. Not to mention a couple DUI's.  So for him this might be progress.

Father: Your Uncle Dan is gonna go bail him out tomorrow.

I wish I had a brother like Uncle Dan. Everytime Uncle Dave has gotten into trouble his brother Dan has been there to save his ass. Everytime I get into trouble my sisters can't wait to tell my mom how much it is her fault for being so nice to me. My sisters think I am the golden child. The truth is my Mom loves me more because I am the best looking.

Son: Ok.

Father: What the fuck happenend to the birds?

Son: I don't wanna talk about it.


Father:Yeah. I know.  Keep bustin guts, love ya.

Son: Love you too.

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