Mom of the Year?
Retired porn star Jenna Jameson says she's returning to porn to support her twin boys. And to make sure they'll be the most uncomfortable students at school on Career Day.
The End is Nigh ... ish
Physicist Stephen Hawking has predicted that humans will not survive another thousand years. His statement is expected to cause widespread panic in 999 years.
Man's Oldest Friend
New research suggests that man first began domesticating dogs as far back as pre-historic Europe. The theory is based on the recent discovery of a perfectly preserved 30,000-year-old Snausage.
At the MTV Europe Music Awards in Amsterdam, Miley Cyrus lit a joint on stage. Thereby becoming the last person in the building to light a joint.
China, Cuba and Saudi Arabia have been named to the United Nations Human Rights Council. In related news, the U.N. has declared 2014 The Year of Screw You.