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February 25, 2014

The Nuge has promised to stop his racist name-calling, which means he can't retaliate when you use the following insults on him.

After catching some flack for referring to the President of the United States as a “subhuman mongrel” (the latest in a grand tradition of colorful remarks about black people, gay people, and women), the Nuge has caved to pressure and promised to stop his trademark name-calling. This means that Uncle Ted can no longer retaliate if someone should happen to call him: 
  • an impotent cartoon character who’ll be dead in a few years
  • The Motor City Sad Man
  • the tiniest little penis in Texas 
  • an embarrassment to soul patches everywhere (which is really saying something)
  • Remedial Jesus
  • Rick Perry's power-bottom
  • a timid klansman who can’t quite get it up (his hood)
  • Jackass Presents Bad Music
  • an old man with long hair who dyes it
  • a wittle cwybaby who's just mad that we have a bwack pwesident :(
  • the guy who wrote “Cat Scratch Fever”
And according to his promise, 'ol Teddy'll just sit there and take it! But don't let us have all the fun — create your own with this handy Ted Nugent Name-Calling Generator:
Step 1: Think about Ted Nugent.
Step 2: Say literally anything that comes to mind about that racist dickhead.
Step 3: Tweet your results directly to @TedNugent