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April 28, 2015
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Same Sex Marriage Case Reaches Supreme Court, What's Next? Animals Reaching Supreme Court?

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The U.S. Supreme Court justices will meet today to give the public their first thoughts on whether states can continue to define marriage as exclusively between a man and a woman or whether the Constitution allows for same sex marriage. The court will be hearing extended arguments from both sides that dive deeper into the issue including whether states that do no permit same sex marriage must recognize same sex marriages from other states.

At this point, 14 states don’t allow sam sex marriage and this ruling could override previous marriage ban rulings.

Taking a cue from the popular anti gay marriage, slippery slope theory that “if a man can marry a man, next thing you know they’ll want to marry an animal,” it is only logical to assume that if gay marriage cases are being brought to the Supreme Court, the next thing brought to the Supreme Court could be animals!

How does that sound, America? A parade of animals just being led through the highest court in our great nation? Maybe a rowdy billy goat on a leash bounding around the courtroom playfully, or a little piglet with his cute little snout foraging for scraps out of someone’s purse? Or maybe a dozen golden retrievers with tennis balls in their mouths at the justices’ feet, begging to play catch? This could be our America! What a great America!


If Gay Marriage Is Brought To The Supreme Court, What’s Stopping…

Kittens from taking the stand…and slowly falling asleep?


St. Bernards from laying on the Justices so they can’t get any work done?


Bunnies from taking long baths in the Supreme Court’s restroom sink forcing everyone has to use the bathroom at the Starbucks next door?


Lioness’ from barging into the court and jumping into the arms of one of the Supreme Court Justices who saved her (probably Kagan but wouldn’t it be funny and kind of neat if Scalia saved lions in his spare time?)?


Horses biting justices’ hair so they can’t get any work done? (not applicable for Clarence Thomas (bald))


Justices carrying sloths across the courtroom just for fun (Sotomayor and Breyer would really want to do it but be too afraid, while Ginsburg would be the first to have the guts to touch the sloth)?


The justices from getting too distracted by watching Kangaroo fights on youtube to get any work done?

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