Tennessee Titans at Pittsburgh Steelers
The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. The Steelers just giveth away the football. Steelers by 10 the hard way.
Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions
I ate a bear once. Donkey Kong Suh eats bears twice a year. Megatron by 8.
New York Jets at New England Patriots
Remember when the Patriots last won a playoff game? Neither do I, but this is the regular season. Patriots by 14.
Seattle Seahawks at New York Giants
It rains in Seattle. Rain is like a bath and that makes me hate it. Giants by 20.
Cincinnati Bengals at Jacksonville Jaguars
All cats have tasty, fluffy meat, but Dalton from Roadhouse beats up Southerners. I saw it on tv. Bengals by 10.
New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers
Cam Newton will throw for seven hundred yards. And he’ll lose. How many cats have won the Super Bowl? Denial is spelled C-A-T.
Oakland Raiders at Houston Texans
What’s a Kubiak? Somebody made that up. Al Davis’s minions by 5 in the upset.
Philadelphia Eagles at Buffalo Bills
I shared a kennel at the Washington Area Rescue League with some of Mike Vick’s dogs. Toronto Bills by 456,222.
Kansas City Chiefs at Indianapolis Colts
I’d rather go hunting with Dick Cheney than watch this game. Zoloft by ten.
Arizona Cardinals at Minnesota Vikings
Vikings have horns, Odin and Thor. Cardinals have Fitzgerald. Advantage: Cardinals.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at San Francisco Rice-a-Roni
Forty-Niners dig for gold. Buccaneers steal it. Tampa Bay by 10.
San Diego Chargers at Denver Broncos
Horse meat tastes good anytime, but Chargers only taste good during the regular season. Norv’s underachievers by 4.