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May 14, 2016

A brief exploration of the leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea


Kim Jung-un.jpg

A recently released photo of Kim Jung-un that is apparently un-retouched.

Ok so first off you think whoa: undoctored? Is this for real? We actually think that this hasn’t been tampered with by the fucking NORTH KOREANS THEMSELVES!?! You’d actually THINK THAT THEY MERELY ALLOWED THIS MONSTROCITY OF A PHOTO OUT o n p u r p o s e ?

After the foolishness of that thought simmers down into your mindhole you suddenly, and about time too, realize that this is a photo of just some random North Korean person. Hell, for all we know he could be a fucking prisoner! And, in a way, he is: Do we think that THIS GUY is actually the ruler of a highly secretive militaristic dangerous country? I didn’t think so.No, here we’re given a very obvious puppet of a very obvious clandestine regime. Kim Jung Un is practically a poster boy (I never thought I’d be writing this sentence in my life). He’s the (, Oh god,) pin-up-boy for the real North Korean dictator who is actually manipulating the country from behind the shadows.

Makes sense now doesn’t it? Do you think the real ruler of 조선민주주의인민공화국 would actually expose himself to every other world power that does not like him? That he’d actually make himself vulnerable to the total extent of that powers military arm? Only a fool would think so.

Go on, remove yourself one more time: is the real leader of North Korea (the puppeteer of the boy we call Kim Jung Un) …The Real Leader?

Ding Ding Ding! We have a Winner! Of course he isn’t! We must follow the very simple to believe concept that absolute power corrupts absolutely. The Real Leader leads the leader of Kim Jung Un who, in turn, rules over North Korea.

And who fits this description better than anyone else, but the illuminati.

You read that right. You just got Punk’d. I can’t believe you fucking fell for that. Hey, I do come off as convincing right?I mean, to get meta: I’m just the optimal sounding version of you in your head. Any-who, next time don’t give so much authority to random words on a page, ya’moron!

Peace out bro! Happy 420!

P.S. But seriously, look at those teeth! I’m dead.