1. People who fart while they pee in a public bathroom-There's a reason you don't use both ends at once.
2. The phrase "Long story short"-Here's an idea...don't fucking ramble!
3. Ashton Kutcher-Just stop, now.
4. The TV show "Chuck"-How is this show still on? 4 seasons??!! WTF?! It can't die. If this outlives Mad Men...
5. Those 5 Hour Energy drink commercials that play 6 million times on Hulu-Who the fuck is that guy?!! He's too calm!