In light of U.S. Senator Tom Cotton’s recent statements that America’s gays need to “get a sense of perspective” because “in Iran they hang you for the crime of being gay,” I felt I needed to weigh in, being Iran’s Supreme Leader and all.
You see, day in an day out I’m forced to listen to Iran’s whiny, satan-worshipping gays complain about being imprisoned and sentenced to death for their sexual orientation. Complain, complain, complain it’s all they do. So I think it’s important for Iran’s gays to get a sense of perspective as well: at least they don’t live on the moon. Just sayin’. On the moon gays can’t even survive without a state-of-the-art space suit.
All I’m saying is, think about how good you’ve got it gays! Here in Iran you can you can enjoy a breathable atmosphere (good luck finding THAT on the moon), drink liquid water, and you can go outside without your blood boiling in the cruel vacuum of space.
Ha, well, you can do all of those things until I have you publicly executed. How’s that for perspective?