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April 09, 2017
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I've lost my cat! Please help!

I’m afraid I have some terrible news. I’ve lost my cat ‘Noodles’. I left the door open last night while I was bringing in groceries and I think he might have gotten out. Normally, once I’ve got all the groceries in I can count on Noodles being there to greet me with those hungry eyes. I always get him a can of fresh tuna when I shop. But last night Noodles was nowhere to be found. I’ve looked everywhere for him. I was out all night driving around my neighborhood calling for him. No response. I’m beginning to get worried. Noodles isn’t like most cats. He’s very smart. I thought he would have found his way home by now.

I think something bad might have happened to him. He hadn’t been eating for the last few days. I would put out bowls upon bowls of dry cat food and he barely ever ate it. I think he might have been sick. There was vomit all over his cage. It was really bad. I hate seeing animals in pain. So I told him: “I love you so much bud, but if this keeps up I think we might have to put you down.” He just about lost it when I told him this. He started banging up against the side of his cage and meowing to the heavens. That night in fact I came down to give him a bowl of warm milk just like I always do. Wouldn’t you believe that little bugger had picked the lock on his cage door and was in the process of chewing through his leash? Like I said. He’s a smart kitty.

I miss Noodles so much. I miss the way he would try to bat the phone out of my hands when I was using it like he had a more important call to make. Adorable. Once he even got a 9 and a 1 punched in. Silly kitty… I miss the way he would look out the windows desperately waving to the outside world. Probably dreaming about catching those birdies huh Noodles? And most of all I miss the way he would greet me every time I got home: hiding behind the door, ready to jump out and surprise me. So cute!

So I need your help. Please help me find Noodles. If you or anyone you know has seen Noodles please contact me. Here’s some information:

LOST! HAVE YOU SEEN MY CAT?

cat2.png

Noodles

Name: Noodles

No collar: Branded under right armpit

Description: Male, 118 pounds. Loving cat, lost and afraid

Owner: Heartbroken

Reward: none

Any information you have will help. Unfortunately, as the flyer says, there is no reward. This is because, as I said earlier I intend on putting him down soon and a reward seems like a poor investment. If you see Noodles: DO NOT APPROACH HIM. My butterfly knife is missing and I think he might have grabbed it on his way out. Kitty has claws! HA! He will not answer to Noodles. He might answer to Brian McNairy though. Please help me find him. It’s all I can think about since he went missing. I just hope he’s not in a ditch somewhere. Or worse, a police station.

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