or
Published December 06, 2008 More Info »
1 Funny Votes
0 Die Votes
111 Views
Published December 06, 2008

Shit Happens.
According to various religions and spiritual philosophies



TAOISM: Shit happens.



CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "Shit happens".



ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?



JESUITISM: If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?



ISLAM: Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.



COMMUNISM. Equal shit happens to all people.



CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.



PSYCHOANALYSIS: Shit happens because of your toilet training.



SCIENTOLOGY: Shit happens if you're on our shit list.



ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.



UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.



RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to someone else.



JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US?



REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?

MYSTICISM: What weird shit!



AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?



ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit!

NIHILISM: Who needs this shit?

AZTEC: Cut out this shit!



QUAKER: Let's not fight over this shit.



FORTEANISM: No shit??



12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.



VOODOO: Hey, that shit looks just like you!



NEWAGE: Visualize shit not happening.



DEISM: Shit just happens.



EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.



SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.



CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is in your mind.



BUDDHISM: Shit happens, but pay no mind.



SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.



HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.



WICCA: Mix this shit together and make it happen!



HASIDISM: Shit never happens the same way twice.



THEOSOPHY: You don't know half of the shit that happens.



DIANETICS: Your mother gave you shit before your were born.



SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.



JEHOVAH's WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armageddon.

MOONIES: Only happy shit really happens.



HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.

BAHA'I: It's all the same shit.



STOICISM: This shit is good for me.



OBJECTIVISM: Our shit is good for you.



EST: If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.

REAGANISM: Don't move; the shit will trickle down.



FASCISM: Shit makes the trains run on time.



CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the shit away.

EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.



DISCORDIANISM: Some funny shit happened to me today.



RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.



CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn't smell bad.



MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can't discuss it during Lodge.



RED CROSS: Shit happens - send money... 

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web