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June 20, 2012

It really is too good of a bargain to pass up!


FlexSeal.jpgAfter news broke yesterday of a Clevland, Ohio man who was arrested for using a can of Flexseal spray-on rubber sealant to, "Shut my wife up so I didn't have to kill her," sales of the product rose 1700% overnight, prompting comparisons from some analysts to the Jergen's hand lotion epiphany in August of 1974. 


When questioned about the incident, the suburban innovator said, "It really does provide an airtight, watertight, patronizing-remark-proof seal.  Flexseal is amazing!" 


After being delivered to the police station, the man was high-fived by everyone on duty and given a comfortable cell with a DVD player and a copy of The Godfather trilogy so that he could, "Have some damn peace and quiet." 


Despite his arrest, citizens everywhere have taken up where the Cleveland resident left off; using the product for a variety of new purposes including hilarious and potentially life-altering things to do to your bro while he's passed out, repairing a flat tire while driving, and some really weird fetish shit. 


In response to the sharp increase in sales, the CEO of Flexseal announced that the company plans to go public next month, as soon as he "Sorts some things out at home."