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Published August 16, 2011 More Info »
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Published August 16, 2011

Do you remember high school football games?  Me too. One of the players on my school's team was named Bob.  He was always stealing things from the other players.  Who can forget seeing Bob crane his neck forward as he was getting ready to steal John’s candy?  Bob was a star running back, along with his friend Dan Blocker, who was ironically a passer.  Our school colors were red and black, but for some reason the uniforms were green.  Al’s parents didn’t like him being on the team.  They really disliked seeing Al Green.  But Tom’s parents were worse.  They were adamant in their disgust of seeing Tom Green.  But then again they didn’t like him no matter what color he was wearing, after that Freddie movie and all.  

The coach, who was quite emotional, was named Jon.  After every loss we would watch Jon the Cryer, as he was known throughout the county, but ironically not in the city.  The waterboy was great, but he was always listening to rap music when he brought the liquid refreshment, which was usually Ice T with Ice Cubes (which was very strange, being as rap music did not exist at that time).  I remember being happy sitting next to my friend Glenn, but not Jamie.  In other words, I liked Glenn close and Jamie far.  Three of the backup running backs were named Dan, Grant, and Carry.  They would all teach other tricks during practice, where I watched Grant carry the ball.  I also watched Grant show Carry how it was done.  Would Carry grant Dan the privelege of showing him how it was done?  Would Dan rather that Grant Show him how it is done?   These are just some of the questions I asked myself as I pondered my existence and searched for a clean restroom, which I never found, in case you were wondering.  And I still rarely do, that is if I actually leave the house. 

The cheerleaders were always placed in alphabetical order on the field for every cheer.  There was Beebee and Ceecee, Deedee and Gigi, and lastly Kay, Em and Ella (who had an Aunt Bee).  After a freak pyramid accident, Ceecee landed on her head and we called the doctor.  We watched as the doctor drew blood from her.  Her boyfriend Colin rode in the ambulance with her.  She was loaded in last, and Colin firth.  I tried to go along, but they wouldn’t let me because I wasn’t part of the cool crowd (those meanies!  It’s a good thing I forget about stuff like that), so I let my friend Alan hale a cab. Our mutual friend Nancy wanted to go too, so we let Nancy grace us with her presence. Nancy had a boyfriend named Al who was a matador.  I never watched Al gore anything, but I wish he would just stop that.  He is married to his work, which is strange because he is a divorce attorney.

 

I had two girlfriends at the time, one was named Susan and the other was named Gladys.  I would usually see Gladys during the afternoons, and Susan in the evenings.  But occasionally I would switch things up and it would be a Gladys night and a Susan day.  But that is another story entirely.

 

 

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