Celebrities See All

Close

Quick Links

or

25 Great Burns To Use on Male Chauvinists

Screen Shot 2014-06-30 at 11.27.16 AM.png

Please make good use of some of these, ladies.

1.) I can tell you ruin women’s orgasms like Michael Bay ruins Transformer movies.


2.) I bet even Internet Explorer is more responsive than your dick.


3.) I’ve watched vine videos longer than you can fuck.


4.) You probably handle a women in bed like an elderly person handles a Nintendo Wii-mote.


5.) My phone on vibrate is more passionate than you.


6.) You couldn’t turn on an XBOX.


7.) You’re like Stifler from American Pie, if he was unfunny and not played by Sean William Scott.


8.) I’ve seen men wearing Crocs more attractive than you.


9.) If the Sex Organs were a band, your dick would be the Bass player.


10.) I’ve been more satisfied with the endings of M. Night Shyamalan movies.


11.) Having sex with you would be like paying Tetris without the long ‘I’ shaped piece.


12.) You’re the YouTube comment section of personality types.


13.) You have the ability to jizz. I have the ability to make people. Your argument is invalid. Infinitely.


14.) If we filmed ourselves having sex, I’d win an Oscar for how well I’d need to fake orgasm.


15.) Michael J. Fox with his eyes closed is more accurate than you.


16.) This conversation has the success rate of a regular pokeball catching Mewtwo.


17.) Your effect on women is second only to Magikarp’s Splash.


18.) Wow, it’s like you’ve based your identity on scrapped Johnny Bravo episodes.


19.) Are you late for a Geordie Shore audition?


20.) You have so little game, Duke Nukem Forever sales just went up.


21.) I’ve seen more intelligent thoughts from cave paintings than from you.


22.) You have the charm and originality of a v-neck sweater.


23.) I’ve seen Loki-Thor erotic fan fiction on tumblr manlier than you.


24.) I’m sorry, did you forget that you weren’t on tinder?


25.) Your fraternity called, they want their douche back.


Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web

More