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May 13, 2009


I know a lot of you may have been concerned about my fight with Mara freshman year. Those days of her ignoring me were just awful. I wanted to make her regret being mad at me. I pictured seeing her face the moment she would realize, "Aw man. I should've never taken advantage of Becky's friendship." I fantasized about getting hit by a car or to becoming a famous actress/ice-skater - anything to make Mara feel like an idiot for avoiding me as if I would wear an "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt all of the time.

Then, one day, on AIM, Mara sent me the following message:

"Can I copy your math homework in homeroom tomorrow?"

I jumped for joy! Mara was talking to me again! Our friendship was repaired! I was so happy. Food tasted better. I cared about cleaning my fingernails. I took a week off from reading The Bell Jar.

I was so happy I wrote the following poem on January 24th, 2000.

"Open, Free, Confident"

I just climbed a mountain,
Finished a painting,
Tied the bonds of friendship,
And conquered my biggest fear.

My eyes are now open wide.
I can smell the flowers
Swim in the ocean.
I am able to taste new spices.

I can spread my thoughts.
Be strong yet modest.
Dye my cheeks red with an enormous smile,
And fly high holding on to my spirited wings.