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Andy Newton & Blake Roberts

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January 13, 2014

Foreign language students rewrite our most beloved classics.

Ernest Hemingway - The Sun Also Rises

Last summer I went to Spain. I bought a ticket for trains and packed my luggage before the departure. I had to buy a new shirt before I left for Spain because I did not have any shirts before I left for Spain. When I go to France I like to talk to prostitutes. However, I can only talk because I was in the war and now I feel very bad. It is difficult to believe.

The bulls were running a lot in the streets in Spain, but I did not see the bulls because I went in the bar instead. I drank some wine. The waiter came and I bought wine in a bag. I drank a lot of wine. I prefer red wine to white wine. I like very much white wine, too, however. I like red wine a lot, and I like Brett a lot also. Brett is very cute, but I went to the war and now I feel very badly, however. I want to pass many times with Brett and she told me she loves me yesterday afternoon at seventeen minutes to four in the afternoon. A lovely time is an example of a thing we could have had together if so we think. It is very pretty to think.


F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby

West Egg is the village where I lived. East Egg is the name of the village where Gatsby lived. He threw parties. The parties are not liked by me. I went to a party. This is the pen of my brother Raoul. Spanish is my favorite class. I went to the home of Daisy my cousin also. Her voice was money sounding. I made friends with Gatsby because he wanted to introduce him to Daisy the woman, it was my cousin, so then because, I invited the two to my house for the tea of engagements and met them. When she cried a lot, she saw also that Gatsby had many beautiful shirts and she had never seen so many beautiful shirts before also.

Daisy and Gatsby danced a sack at the party. I remember his Foxtrot very graceful and elegant. It is necessary to be going to New York on the hottest day of the year. We did not take one car to the Hotel of Plaza. We took two cars. Gatsby had talked loudly to Tom Buchanan about love. Daisy told Tom that she did not love him, even on the beach in Santa Barbara when he asked tenderly in his voice hoarse as she had loved him then. The coupé ran over Myrtle also and George did the killing of Gatsby after the lying of Tom Buchanan. I beheld the vast expanse of this, the republic, and I thought also of boats against the current, which are birthed back always into the past.


William Shakespeare - Hamlet

This is my father. My father is dead. My mother is married to my uncle. This is my girlfriend. The name of my girlfriend is Ophelia. Her favorite color is purple, and she likes elegant enough dresses and me also. We enjoy going to the court of my mother and my uncle together. I am desirous of revenge, also, however. I have many problems.

I have a very big plan to bring actors to show this: the death of my father. They perform the death of my father for my mother and my uncle because a thing I believe is that my uncle did the killing of my father. My father is dead. This does not work. ¡No! There are many other problems. Ophelia has become deceased and here is the skull of Yorrick. I knew him. Yorrick had been very poor. I like theater, but I prefer playing with swords also. The brother of Ophelia likes to play with swords also, and he is very good. Fortinbras is a kind person, and now I am dead.


Mark Twain - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Yesterday I left home with my friend. His name is Jim. Jim is black, and he likes fish and cotton also. Jim does not work because he is a slave.

Yesterday we visited Kentucky. We went by boat, and I saw much water. The water was brown. I like brown, but I prefer blue. I saw a family and their name was Grangerford. I saw another family also and their name was Shepherdson. I saw also many trees and mosquitos. Buck Grangerford is a boy like me and he is very nice and very fun. We played outside and we ate dessert after, and he was killed also. The King and the Duke enter the the boat. No, they do not tell the truth to the people in the towns. I like rivers a lot, and I like the Mississippi River also. Jim becomes a slave again and Tom Sawyer and I rescue him from slavery in adventures that are, how you say, problematic.