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August 13, 2015

Do not worry. There will be no major changes to "Sesame Street" now that it's heading to HBO.

It’s definitely strange that the beloved children’s show “Sesame Street” will now be airing on HBO. But do not worry, kids and parents. According to this episode guide, there will be no major changes to the show we all grew up with.

Episode 1: The Color Black

Sesame Street, Louisiana. 1995. Detectives Ernie Hart and Bert Cohle investigate the ritualistic murder of former prostitute Snuffleupagus. They question Elmo, a local heroin addict with severe depression. Bert demands that he and Ernie sleep in the same bed. This episode is brought to you by the color black and the number 69.

Episode 2: How to Make Muffins!

Bert and Ernie question the letter “B” and the color orange. Ernie cheats on his wife Oscar the Grouch with a large-breasted blue Muppet. Elmo experiences hallucinatory side effects of his massive drug consumption.

Episode 3: Who Wants to Sing a Happy Song?

Bert and Ernie locate the degenerate owner of a burnt-down church, Grover. Bert believes that time is a “flat rubber ducky.” Elmo begins a spree of satanic murders.

Episode 4: Sunny Day

Bert f*cks Ernie’s wife. Cookie Monster learns that the only thing that satisfies him is the taste of human flesh. The Count buys TEN vials of crack cocaine.

Episode 5: The Big Yellow Bird

Bert and Ernie learn about the Yellow King, a blood-thirsty bird-monster who swallows children’s souls. Elmo collects human skulls.

Episode 6: Friendship!

Ernie eats a human heart. Bert hears voices in his head, the horrible screams of a million tortured children. Kermit the Frog teaches kids about friendship.

Episode 7: A Day at the Park!

Close to finding the Yellow King, Bert and Ernie wonder why life even matters. They secretly wish to kill each other. Elmo carves the number 666 into his chest. Insane from drug use, the Count won’t stop counting. Ever.

Episode 8: Best Friends Forever

Bert and Ernie track down the Yellow King, the giant or “big” bird who has been killing children for fun and sport. They murder him with the help of Elmo, who now believes that he is immortal. They feast on the fallen bird in triumph and vow to “kill for each other"until their dying day. They are "best friends forever!”