OBAMACARE

OBAMACARE! Ever since the health reform bill passed (?) a year ago, there's been much debate over what it can and can't do. Get prepped for 2012
(ie the Apocalypse)  by studying up on what is or is not covered by the only health care plan ever named after a socialist. The idea is that Obamacare would be free, universal, you know, but that doesn't mean EVERYTHING is covered for free. 
C'mon. 



 

... IS NOT COVERED BY OBAMACARE

People living in the U.S. illegally 

Aliens living in the U.S. illegally 

Guatemalans 

E.T. 's 

Shark bites

Bites from Mike Tyson

Unicorn rapes 

Rashes

Street fighting

Drag racing

Rash decisions  

Tissue damage

People named "Mitt"

People with the last name "Romney"

Gingriches 

Waffle iron burns

Hurt feelings

Eye-pokings

Gouging

Harvestings

Shaving mishaps

Organ punctures

Slipping on banana peels

Anything that's ever happened in a Three Stooges short

The Hangover-esque nights of debauchery (What happens in Vegas...)

Face/Offs 

Internal bleeding

External bleeding

Broken bones

Broken hearts

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Charlie Sheen

The munchies

Alaskans

Shiv fights

Injuries of any kind

New Jersey

Cabin fever

"Cabin Boy"

Gas

Acid reflux

Tears

Cuts or scrapes 

Giraffe fights

Issues of "People" and "US Weekly" from 1997

The lollipops on the receptionist's desk

Bedpans

A cool roommate

Cable TV

The promise of a clean stethoscope

A guarantee you are the first one to use that tongue depressor

TV doctors (Phil, Oz, McDreamy) 










 

.... WAS COVERED BY OBAMACARE

Kim Kardashian's butt X-RAY. Hey-o. 

@TheMichaelLake