New York University, NY, NY— 20-year-old Colin Wheeler and 19-year-old Alyssa Ashwood, two New York University students known for a months-long running joke on Tinder, have finally gone on their first date. This date was one of the highlights of Wheeler’s life so far, but not so much for Ashwood.
After first matching on Tinder, Wheeler and Ashwood waited several days between messages to send replies such as “sorry, was in the shower” or “sorry, fell asleep”. They kept up this joke for almost 4 straight months while Wheeler would occasionally get another match and possibly message her. At the same time, Ashwood would reply to messages from the most attractive of her 500+ other matches, most of whom are 6’ or taller and in their early-mid 20s.
Wheeler recently posted a screenshot of their conversation captioned “when you know she’s the one for you” on his Twitter. His tweet went viral, inspiring Tinder to arrange an all-expenses-paid date for him and Ashwood.
Wheeler began the date by showing uncontained happiness, saying how amazing it was to finally meet her before telling her every single notable fact about himself over the span of the date, some of which Ashwood found interesting to a degree. Ashwood spent the majority of the date telling Wheeler about her interests, which Wheeler only cared about because she was a pretty girl he was on a date with. Wheeler finished off the date by asking if he could kiss Ashwood, who turned down his kiss, saying “you’re a great guy, but I don’t see you that way”.
“Alyssa’s an amazing girl, I just wish she’d give me another chance,” says Wheeler, a half-virgin who once accidentally seduced a slightly-above-average-looking girl into kissing him and giving him a blowjob at a party before blowing his chances to go all the way by unconfidently revealing he was a virgin mid-blowjob.
“Colin’s a really nice guy. He’s smart and funny, but I feel like we’d be better as friends,” says Ashwood, a decently attractive young woman who has made out with 15 guys in her lifetime, has had 5 one night stands (3 of which were from Tinder), and currently has a friend with benefits (also met on Tinder) after breaking up with her high school boyfriend of 1 year three weeks into her first year of university.
Wheeler is currently still attempting to win Ashwood’s affection by sending her witty text messages about twice a day that often getting left on read. Ashwood is currently giving up the last bit of the fuck she gives about Wheeler.