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September 29, 2008


by Billy Kimball

Could you believe it? A slam-dunk, right?

I haven't seen a beat-down like that since Bentsen vs. Quayle. It wasn't even close! It's over. There's no way the Other Guy can bounce back from a humiliating defeat like that.

My Guy was so presidential. You could really see him sitting in the Oval Office. The Other Guy had nothing to offer besides that smug and superior attitude. What gives him the right to act like that? I mean, we all know his story (and, hey, I give the Other Guy credit for everything he's had to overcome) but still, that doesn't automatically entitle you to be president.

I knew the Other Guy was going down when he wouldn't say clearly whether he supports a federal bail-out of the financial markets or not. It's a yes-or-no question! You know, the Other Guy acts like he's so different but he's a double-talking run-of-the-mill politician just like the rest of them.

Were you watching the Other Guy in the split-screen? It's like he doesn't own a mirror! I guess no one on the campaign had the guts to tell him how to listen without looking like a dick. It figures. The Other Guy doesn't seem like the sort of Guy who'd take criticism well.

Seriously, I'd be very scared to have the Other Guy in charge of our foreign policy. He's just reckless. My Guy is the sort of leader they respect overseas. And he understands the big picture. The Other Guy doesn't know what he's talking about!

And you know something? My Guy also understands the terrible price we pay whenever our military is sent into harm's way. After all, he has a bracelet given to him by the mother of a fallen soldier. And he was wearing it at the debate!

I guess the only thing I thought was disappointing was that My Guy didn't go after the Other Guy more. I wish he'd called him out on some of his more egregious bullshit. Maybe next time My Guy and the Other Guy will really go at it. If that happens, My Guy will wipe the floor with the Other Guy! He's got all the advantages.

The Other Guy's supporters would have to be blind not to realize, after tonight, that their candidate is deeply flawed. It was really disgusting to watch the Other Guy's people try and spin the debate afterwards to make it sound as though the Other Guy won. Dream on!

But I will say that even if you do support the Other Guy and think he did well tonight, you have to agree that Jim Lehrer looks very old.