Over Thanksgiving weekend, the trailer for the new Star Wars film was released. On his show, Stephen Colbert declared himself the original fan of Star Wars, disclosing that he attended a special private screening of the first film in 1977, two weeks before it came out nationally, thus enabling him to be a fan two weeks longer than anyone else.

He made use of this extra long history as Star Wars fan when defending the new lightsaber that was revealed in the trailer, which features a smaller beam perpendicular to the main blade, forming a hilt on the weapon. While some people have raged against the new lightsaber, saying that it is impractical and dangerous, Colbert employed passion and diagrams to demonstrate how it is a “perfect design:” it’s not made up of three individual lasers, but rather a singular stream for which “you just need three focusing crystal activators to split the plasma into perpendicular blade energy channels.” He challenged those who may be confused by this science to just wait two weeks so they can catch up to where he is, heatedly declaring that “amateur hour is over.”


Advertisement
Advertisement