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Published September 12, 2008 More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
fodwire
5 Funny Votes
1 Die Votes
2,079 Views
Published September 12, 2008

TofurkyBox.jpg PORK ENVY

I know a lot of vegetarians, and I like eating at vegggie-only eateries. I don't understand the number of punnily-named fake-meat dishes that populate the menus of said eateries. It's like drinking non-alcoholic beer, or watching R-Rated pornography. Don't eat meat, don't drink, don't sin, but don't resort to desperate half-measures to get close to what you want to do.

But in the spirit of helpfullness, I'd like to offer up some more possible names of Vegetarian Faux-Meat Products!

  1. Pepperoni -> Pepperphony
  2. Roast Beef -> Ghost Beef
  3. Tenderloins -> Pretenderloins
  4. Babyback Ribs -> Babyback Fibs
  5. Hamburger -> Shamburger
  6. Bacon -> Facon
  7. Fried Chicken -> Fried Trickin'
  8. Hot Dogs -> Not Dogs
  9. Porterhouse -> Poserhouse
  10. Shrimp Scampi -> Shrimp SCAMpi
  11. Anchovies -> Antichovies
  12. Steak -> Misteak

 

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