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March 27, 2011

A small Slice of my mind

While sitting in a pub, many people tend to let wit bleed out when beer bleeds in, this leads onto topics such as, who has the biggest willy, whos the strongest, whos fastest. This is just general banter, until, the inevitable questions come out, that are both dark and disturbing. One of which was a story told to me by a close friend.

Friend: So here, i'm walking throught the town and suddenly feel something preventing my bum from closing completely.

(notice here that I have replaced my friends chosen description of his bottom, that was "his hole" with my prefered and lighter description of Bum)

Me: Ok, so what the hell! what was it that was preventing your bum from closing?

: Bum Fluff!

Me: Bum Fluff? Jesus man, that musta been a lot of bum fluff to actually stop your ass from closing!?

Friend: No it was just at the top of my crack, like were my bum meets my back, like the sorta fisher bit that leads onto the plane of my back, it sort of gatheres there in a tiny ball. I sorta think sometime should i just leave it there intead of picking it out in broad day light!?

Me: Sorry am i hearing you right? You want to just leave your fluff there, for what! for a refined and more personal version of a draft excluder? To stop spiders from borrowing up into you bowels and making you shit spiders! What the hell, that is the most twisted and strange thing i have ever heard!

Friend: the worst part is, (at this point my friend straightens up and services the room looking for potential nosey people, listening in on our "deep" conversation?) the worst part is, my bum fluff, was YELLOW!!!!!!

The point of this article is, does anyone else have a small build up of bum fluff, what colour are they, i hear the word on the street is Blue/Black.

Cheers people!