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Broke Pride

SAN FRANCISCO (Chafed News) – The gay and lesbian community and they’re supporters across California celebrated the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) decision to turn away the case involving California’s same-sex ban, known as Proposition 8, affectively legalizing marriage for gay and lesbian couples in nation’s most populous state.  However, while most gay and lesbian supporters celebrated the momentous SCOTUS decision, many broke gays and lesbians were struck with what is being described as “severe financial anxiety,” concerning the expenses involved in attending countless weddings in the coming weeks and months.  “I wish I could be happier, really I do,” said Marcus Hillsben, a 36-year-old, openly gay man to reporters inside San Francisco’s famed Castro District.  “Just imagine if like, all your friends, all got married in the same six month period of time.  Not only that, but then imagine that all your friends were like big ole devas who you know, would talk behind your back if dared to get them something for their wedding that wasn’t super fab.  I mean, hello, we don’t all have the disposable income that you straight people think we have.  Some of us, like myself, are broke- okay? (sigh)  I’m sorry, I wish I was in a better mood, but I just know all these damn weddings are going to bankrupt me.  I’m just not feeling like celebrating right now.”

Maria Burnington, Professor of Economics at the University of California at Berkley, and author of the book, “Why Gays and Lesbians are ‘Bout to be Some Broke-Ass Mofos” says Marcus Hillsben and other gays and lesbians are right to fear financial ruin due to the SCOTUS decision.  “The explosion of gay weddings is going to destroy the gay and lesbian community… financially speaking that is,” Professor Burnington said during a recent interview.  “Our studies show that the expenses of having a wedding, combined with the expenses of attending numerous wedding, will financially devastate G and L (gay and lesbian) communities across the state.”  Professor Burnington went on to say, in part: “The gay community is especially susceptible to economic ruin due to the fact the gift expectations are greater.  Our research confirms that gay couples have a higher likelihood of requesting wedding gifts that are “fabulous,” which often come with higher price tags and thus carry more of a financial burden.  Lesbian couples on the other hand will be less impacted do the fact their wedding gift requests tend to be, “what-evs,” which carry a lesser financial burden.  All-in-all, both the gay and lesbian communities will face a financial apocalypse in the coming months and at this point nothing can be done to stop it from happening.”

California will begin issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples just as soon the law is officially enacted which is expected to take two to four weeks.

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