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March 09, 2011

dialogue algorithm

[Shot of empty field, 2011]
"put the camera down and pick up a bat!

-pan to present day, 1998


[(home) Bieber to camera "...as you well know, this will go down in infamy... Whats the date? ("March 12")(Hits a bee) This is the bee attack of March 1998!!! (fear) 


[(government war room) "We need to do something about this bee attack!  It started in Eastern Pennsylvania (Alan Rickman)

[(2 days earlier) Bieber (yelling at bee)"I don't want to fucking see you in my backyard fucking ever again!  Get the fuck out! (smashes bee) "Oah yea!" (pans closer, more smashing) "You like that?"

[(war room) "Do we have any idea what caused it? (overly dramatic Tim Allen)
"Probably Not" (Patton Oswalt)

[(home) Ferrel "chewie bars!  Water!" Bieber, "into the basement!!"

Bees in the air ducts.

[(war room) Alan Rickman "Tell everyone to stay in their homes.  and lock the door"

And this is where your brain is ready to write some real dialogue.
Something like

Ferrel -So what did you think of Inception?
Bieber - Captivating.  If there was another heist I would watch it, because I'm not bored of the concept, but its not going to be a classic.  My head hurts, don't get me wrong, I thought it was OK.
Ferrel - Me too. Wait was inception still a heist?  I don't even remember how it ended.
Bieber - I don't fucking know