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September 14, 2012

Justin J. Johnson Reviews An Indie Album Based On Its Indie Cover Art



Hurray!  I’m back, as only I can be.  Well…I suppose anyone can be back, right?  I’m not really leaping on this assumption, everyone has been back at some point in their life.  Right?  WHOA!  What just happened there?  I think I went through a mid-life/sentence crisis.  Who questions the capabilities of being back?!  I’ll tell you who MENOMENA!  JK!  But they are back too, with a brand new album and I have graciously devoted my time to reviewing the entire album, and all of the hard work and strife they’ve gone through, solely upon the cover art!  What am I, the nicest guy in the world?!  You betcha I am!

So here’s some back story on Menomena…they been through the ringer!  Brent Knopf not only deserves the title of funnest last name to say without fully knowing if you’re saying it right, but also deserves the title of the dude who left the band.  That’s a weird title to have…well both of those are.  But he left, and that left Justin Harris (who deserves the title of biggest rip off of my first name) and Danny Seim (who deserves the title of “i” before “e” except when in Seim…good title!) to fend for themselves!  Well actually to stop fending, because dudes stopped fighting and fending, and made this album!  WHOA!  What a history, and what a title!  

Historical history aside, let’s get to the kale and pine nuts (this is the vegetarian version of “meat and potatoes”) of why you’re reading.  THE ALBUM REVIEW!  Let’s take a look…


First impressions…this album is heavy man.  In the moral words of Abe Lincoln, “Menomena be going through some shit, ya’ll.”  And I’ll tell you just a few reasons why this album be heavy, based on the artwork…and let’s keep this review sane by starting left to right.

That chair. It’s an old chair man, looks kind of tattered and warn.  The kind of chair you sit in to go through some heavy shit, you know?  AND, it’s in the middle of nowhere…and they’re in the middle of nowhere!  Nowhere = Going Through Some Shit Town - Occupants 1 1/2 + Balloon.

Then there’s that lady.  Is she a ghost, is she not a ghost?  Why are her arms so skinny but her body be big?  Is she pregnant, has she just been eating a bunch, or is she just retaining water?  What’s her deal?!  Plus, I don’t wanna sound weird, but this lady has saggy boobs.  I’m guessin…she’s the Moms!  But here’s the biggest reason why this album is probably heavy…she’s wearing sunglasses, a weird color lipstick, her nostrils are fully flared, and she’s wearing the type of hat that says…we’re about to go through some heavy shit, strap up and strap in brutha!  


That babies weird…the kind of weird baby that…you guessed it, is indicative of going through some shit!  Does he have a mustache, doesn’t he?  What silent films was he in?  Why does he have to match so well!  If you’re a silent film baby I feel like you should wear some clothes that distract from your silent film baby-ness and not fully match your skin color.  Hey mom, can’t you take your silent baby film actor to the store for some new threads?!?!

And what’s with this balloon, and why does this silent film actor baby want it so bad??  Mom, don’t you think you shoulda put a string on that balloon?!?  Come on!  This silent film actor baby already has enough strikes against him, the LEAST you can do is put a string on his goddamned balloon!

Thennnn…there’s that shooting star?  Or maybe it’s a plane that’s about to write something!  Something like, “mom, put a string on that balloon for your silent film actor baby!”  Orrr, are they all underwater?  That “sky” might just be an “ocean,” and if so, the raises even more questions and more “going through some shits!”  

I’m an emotional wreck just from looking at this album cover!!!  I need a nap!

This album is gonna weigh on you!  And guess what!  That’s exactly what Menomena wants!  They’ve been through the shit man, but they put together an ultimately beautiful album (cover).  Soooo…grab your silent film baby actors, hold your weird saggy boob’d moms and listen, because this…well…this is an emotional ride!

I give it 5 out of 5 “The Generals” (The silent film I’m sure that silent film baby actor was in!)