On my radio show today, me and my co-presenter were talking about fun fairs. There is one at my local park this weekend, and we've been giving it a good old plug, like you do.
I asked my co-host what he thought was the scariest ride and then in return I told him what I thought was the scariest ride in the world. This is what it is:
I know what you're all thinking. "How can you call that lovley kiddies ride in Dinsey's Magic Kingdom, Orlando Florda the scariest ride in the world?"
Well, I'll tell ya.
They shove you in a boat and you go round inside this large area for a total of what feels like 10 hours while these "unaturally" demonic, happy looking dolls, sing the same song over and over and over and over.
And.........in several different languages (hence, it's a SMALL WORLD, it takes place all over the WORLD)
I saw people get off that ride when I went on it. I was traumatised, but still had chance to hear comments like, "Oh, wasn't that lovely" and "So charming and fun, didn't you jutst love that?"
No! I didn't actually, and the worst thing is I'll be humming that fucking tune for the rest of my holiday now, and if any of the people I'm with start singing it, I'm likey to kill them in their sleep.
I still wake up in terror about that ride.
Also talked about on the show today, as our listeners can email in and "Ask us anything!" a particular question from a listener was "Do you have an irrational fear of anything"
It's the devils food, ok. It's like my Kryptonite. I recoil in horror if it's near me. And for people who do like it, they only add insult to injury by spreading perfectly good cream cheese on it! Now how the hell am I supposed to react to that???
So, if I were a super hero and you were my nemisis, all you have to do is drag me on "It's a Small World" and make me at celery at the same time.
You will be victorious.