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LIKE MY FACEBOOK PAGE: JOSHUA'S POINT OF VIEW
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Published December 12, 2012

GREAT NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
BY
JOSHUA PROCTOR

Come January 2 every asshole you know will be asking you "what is resolution this year?" So you better start thinking of one now. However I am here to help here are some you can use for free!!!! YOU ARE WELCOME!!!!!!!

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Do more coke
Start a new Holocaust
To think of a resolution for 2014
To catch the guy who killed OJ's wife (The real killer is still out there)
Learn all the words to every Ke$ha song
Beat Minesweeper
Stop saying YOLO aka Stop being a d-bag
Kill M.C Hammer
Start a religion
To punch everyone in the face that thinks Nascar is a sport
Try to figure out why "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" comes on the learning channel
Get NBC to bring back Joey
Join the nuclear arms race
Eat more Arby's
Try to get on that Megan's law site
"Make" Joe Biden the president
Become the new coach of the Eagles
Beat John Cena
Find the band Korn
Get away with murder
Push over Eric LeGrand
Pay back China
Get 4 of your friends and beat The Lakers
Try to get Uncle Buck the Oscar it should have won
Marry Casey Anthony
Become the Batman of your town
Find the 14 people on Google+ and ask them why
Bring back Polio
Build the Matrix
Learn how to play the triangle
Bang Lady Gaga
Drink nothing but R.C cola
Get a tweet from Sinbad
Stop doing Foursquare updates on your Facebook (Nobody cares that you are at K.F.C)
Make sure Hopsin wins a Grammy
Slap a bitch
Help Taylor Swift write her next break-up song
Call every Tony Stark in the phone book and ask if he is Iron Man or Sherlock Holmes
Rape a chick with Ben Roethlisberger
Bring back Pogs
Learn how to spell acrost
Put Billy Crystal out of his misery
Dig up Ronald Reagan
Try to figure out what the hell happened during the movie Natural Born Killers
Learn how to play every 2 Chainz song on the piano
Find a funny Family Circus comic
Tell a Sandusky joke everyday
Become a congressman (Nicholas Brody style)
Look into Scientology
Put the new Robocop movie in your Netflix queue
Find someone who cares about the NHL lock-out
Try to get through a How I Met Your Mother episode without vomiting
Stop internet memes
Kill every member of Maroon 5
Bet it all on Notre Dame!!!
Try to find a second good song by Foster the People
Stop fucking cursing
Beat the next the person who ask what is your New Year's resolution with a lead pipe and then take their body and bury it (Like in Kill Bill Vol 2 or the movie Buried)


LIKE MY FACEBOOK PAGE:JOSHUA'S POINT OF VIEW
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @TODAJETS

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