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Published April 19, 2013

 

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Whether they're excited for it or dreading it, the upcoming CBGB biopic has got a lot of people talking. The legendary LES nightclub (which is now the site of a John Varvatos boutique) was the springboard for seminal punk bands like The Ramones, Blondie, Talking Heads; the list goes on. Various detractors have already dismissed the film as little more than a cheesy cash-grab made up of half-understood caricatures of some of the most important acts in rock-and-roll history (based solely on the poster above).
No footage has been released yet, save for a few stills on the site's official Facebook page.
However, an anonymous source has leaked a few pages of a first draft of the screenplay for some of the film's skeptics to see. 

The earlier scenes start out innocently enough. It's pretty cheesy, but it's not much worse than the standard TV-movie biography.
Here, we see the seed being planted in founder Hilly Kristal's head while he's out for lunch with his daughter Lisa:

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The next page that was leaked is a little more bizarre, providing a completely fabricated origin story for one of the most famous bands to come out of CBGB:image

The first draft seems to have a running gag of Hilly's dog acting as a silent but anthropomorphic comic relief in the same vein as Gromit or Tintin's Snowy. This page also includes another apocryphal origin story for an iconic band.

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The final scene attmepts to strike a balance between Terms of Endearment-style sentimentality and punk-rock irreverence. It doesn't really do either well. 

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So there you have it, folks. What do you think of the upcoming CBGB movie now that you've gotten a better look at it? Leave a comment below!

 

I would be a complete thief if I didn't acknowledge and beg the forgiveness of the infinitely funnier Gavin Speiller and his Unfinished Scripts Twitter page: (https://twitter.com/UnfinishedS)
By the time I had realized I completely ripped off the idea I was in too far to quit. Please read/follow his twitter for stuff like this at a more prolific rate. 

 
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