Stats & Data

February 24, 2011

Read the fuckin title, man - What am I, a dictionary for the stupid?

Upon hearing about the Sarah Silverman's self-titled 'Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee' I thought to myself, "Is this real?"

Well I'm here to tell you, "Yeah."

Noticing the book cover, which we all judge by these days, we can see the diversity of urine-coloring highly detailed in its exotic graphics. The portrait of Sarah; proud, thin, white, Jewish, as most successful authors should be.

Sarah gleams poised in her greatness like a Boca Raton native. Her face neither horselike nor monkeyish from this angle. Arms to her sides slightly open as if to proudly announce the perspiration of her pits reaching climax.

She stares almost defiantly across my left shoulder at an old Alf figurine I'm trying to sell on eBay for a $5 starting bid. Her moist kissable lips frozen, unmoving, as most photographs can be. Her hair up in some fashion. Her attire some sort of Michael Jackson thing ...

No, as you may have guessed I have never read this book, nor have I even touched one that resembles it. I'm actually reviewing the book's front cover, because quite frankly that's all I've seen.

I will say for near certainty, "I might probably will eventually borrow this book from someone."

Anyway - My rating is a fair 5 stars ... in spontaneous hope that Sarah's words will be etched in constitutional glory for whatever new nation awaits the bed wetting community.  I will also imagine a quantity of cash will fill her mattress and be bounced upon with nude vigor.  Duck or Doug whatever that dog's name is aging rapidly. God knows she needs the virgin blood of many poodles to keep him alive on a daily basis. So 5 stars will probably benefit stuff.

In closing - I advise we try and buy the full priced books instead of the incredibly vast number of cheaper ones you can get USED. Sarah doesn't get one dime of the used books obvious Nazis have returned for resale. Not to say you're a Nazi for buying the cheaper books, just that you most certainly hate blacks & gays vehemently.