TOP 10 SIGNS YOU'RE TOO OLD TO GO CLUBBING ANYMORE
10. Your son has to drive you home at 7.
9. You wish this Dr. Dre character would take a look at your hip.
8. You wonder how these kids don't blow a fuse flicking the light on and off.
7. Everyone else is damaging their liver with shots, you've grabbed your wrist, counting liver spots.
6. You rub some coke into your gums, and the dentures fall out.
5. You insist on using the "proper" term, "disc jockey".
4. You hear a song by Flo Rida and decide to move there.
3. Somebody's slipped something in your drink .... and it's Imodium.
2. You're doing hits of "E" out of a Pill-A-Day organizer.
1. Your shirt is soaking wet from dancing, because your urostomy bag broke.