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January 05, 2017

Grabbing the economy by the artificial pussy!

My family has made quality, handmade, “good as real” sex dolls in America since 1812. Built out of materials sourced from Maine to California, McCall’s Pleasure Dolls are as American as having sex with an apple pie. That’s why I was so saddened last year to announce that our large manufacturing factory would be moving to Mexico in 2017 for financial reasons. However, I’m glad to announce that McCall’s Pleasure Dolls will continue to be made in America thanks to the one man who truly cares about the having-sex-with-inanimate-objects industry:

Donald Trump.

Thanks to our President-Elect’s pro-American business policies, we’ll continue making human-looking globs of silicone and horse hair that you can penetrate or be penetrated by right here in the good U S of A!

If that’s not Making America Great Again, nothing is or ever will be!

With the Donald imposing a 35% tariff on companies that move abroad, there was no way we were making our artificial bone buddies anywhere but in God’s blessed America. This means that 850 Americans will keep their jobs. From cock sculptors to breast testers, ass inspectors to hole wideners, the jobs Americans excel at will remain in the land of the free!

Sorry, Mexico, but you’ll just have to go fuck yourself without using a McCall’s Pleasure Doll!

It’s also not just my company that Trump is keeping in America. I’ve talked to the owners of Parson’s Jizz Rags, Hunt’s Vagina Vacuums, Miller’s Prosthetic Penises and Pubic Primpers, Dick Cheney’s Dick Chainies, and the Ford Motor Company (the only car manufacturer making cars you can fuck), and we’ve all agreed to stay put and become strong, throbbing members of Trump’s America.

When President Trump drains the swamp, we all want to fill it back up. Not with corrupt politicians, but with hot gallons and gallons of Americans’ sexual juices created by our products!

We’ll grab the economy by the artificial pussy!

To show our massive appreciation to President Trump, McCall’s Pleasure Dolls sent him a specially made version of our premium model tailored to look just like his beautiful wife, Melania. He immediately sent it back asking for one looking like his daughter, Ivanka.

I’m proud to say that every inch of the synthetic First Daughter’s body was crafted, inspected, and tested by hardworking Americans. As long as Donald Trump is President of the United States, that will always be the case.

God Bless (and Blow) America!

Brian McCall, Owner of McCall’s Pleasure Dolls - “If you’re fucking a doll, it better be a McCall’s!”

Image via TheTimes.Co.UK