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July 21, 2015

In January, we predicted that Jared Fogle would become embroiled in a heinous sex scandal in 2015. How about a round of applause here, people?

This is real, internet. Not a goof. Not a spoof.

Back in January, I did a little writeup about my predictions for major news stories in 2015.

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Take a look at number 3:

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Notice the date at the top of the article:

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January 6th, 2015. That’s over six months ago.

And here’s the original Facebook post from January 7th.

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If you think any of this is fake, you can still scroll through the Funny Or Die Twitter page and see the original post.

And the phrasing is pretty spot on. I never said Jared would be found guilty or innocent (in fact, we still don’t know if it was Jared himself that did anything heinous on that computer). I just said he would be “embroiled” in a sex scandal. And embroiled he is!

To really drive home the point that I called this six months ago, here’s a picture of me in a winter hoodie followed by a picture of me in sporty summer shorts to give you a sense of the passage of time between then and now.


Burr it sure is cold in JANUARY! (Dramatization)


Loving that hot JULY sun, baby!

And here’s a picture of me holding today’s newspaper for no reason at all:


Finally, here’s a picture of me wearing a cowboy hat since I’m a BIG SHOT now because I called this story.


Guys, this really happened. That’s pretty crazy, right? Share if you believe in miracles!