Full Credits

Written by Chad Carter

Stats & Data

November 18, 2008

I have dropped more panties than a narcoleptic lingerie store stock
clerk who is also prone to clumsiness.

If sexual experience were to be replaced by stretching one's neck to
eat leaves&Lamarck was correct in his theories of inherited traits,
my children would surely be giraffes.

If one were to deliberately misunderstand "hitting that" to be literal
- I would have to be mistaken for a prize fighter that also avidly
played black jack  - in order to account for the frequency with which
I "hit that".

I have seen more tail than a slow herd animal - one that would often
find itself at the back of the herd.

One could say I am a delivery man whose packages require a signature
in a world where houses are made of boots, I have knocked so many.

I am very successful procurer of donkeys - if one used the slightly
profane synonym of donkey.

If coitus were donuts, I would be mildly disinterested in donuts due
to their very high level of availability in my life.

In a black and white travel film, a shot of my genitalia would include
a comical number of stickers upon it, to imply that my genitalia had
visited a great number of places.