Palm Beach Gardens, Florida – With a listing on ebay that reads “Marry a Princess Lost in America,” 42 year-old single mother Deven Trabosh is selling her South Florida home and herself for $500,000 in an attempt to find love. In a recent online Gallup poll of 5500 people surveyed, not one is surprised that she’s a Floridian.
Women’s rights attorney Leslie Becker of Ann Arbor, Michigan said, “Please, a hooker homeowner mother calling herself a Princess at the age of 42 couldn’t be from anywhere except Florida. Add it to their list of humiliations.”
In recent years, Florida has outdone itself with embarrassing incidents that received national attention: the Elian Gonzalez disaster, the Recount of 2000, the Terry Schiavo case, the worst state for mortgage fraud several years in a row and the rap song “Miami” by actor-rapper Will Smith.
Said Will Smith, who was not polled, “Yo, I love Florida! I don’t see a problem with a girl doing something off-the-charts to find a man. Hahaha. How do you think I found Jada? Hahaha. Just kidding! Hahaha. I’m not a Scientologist. Hahaha.”
Many tourists who actually enjoy visiting the state were also unphased by the fact that Deven Trabosh is from Palm Beach. Gay New Yorker Jesse “Call Me Jess-Heyy” Porter said, “Girl, it makes complete sense to me. Every time I go down there, I come back with a hangover and a unexplained rash. It’s cuz it’s balmy. And cuz it’s Florida.”
While many wonder how it is possible that Florida is the fourth most popular state in the country with people like Deven Trabosh as a potential neighbor, Florida Governor Charlie Crist continues to defend it.
“Many wonderful things exist in Florida. For example, did you know that ‘Florida’ is printed on more tourist t-shirts than those of any other state? It’s also full of very intelligent people, Ms. Trabosh included. Think about it. It must be difficult to be lost, not to mention a princess.”