Washington, DC – After several questionable and outright false campaign ads released by the McCain camp accusing Barack Obama of everything from sexism to encouraging kindergartners to have sex, the Democratic candidate is ready to fight back.
“If they want to come at us ‘playground style’, then we’re ready,” said Obama spokesman Bill Burton. “Starting Monday, our official statement will be: I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.”
Joe Biden, Obama’s running mate, championed the decision as an example of “Obama’s tough but fair way of dealing with political bullies.” Biden added, “John McCain is so funny, we forgot to laugh.”
McCain’s decision to use Rove style politics, the same schemes used when Bush defeated McCain in the primaries of 2000, prove to be working again. Rove is the master of pairing out of context remarks with controversial sounding policies making Obama look like a bad guy.
Democrats have readied their arsenal of comebacks so they “won’t be the party that gets walked all over anymore.” Burton says Obama is not afraid to fight back just as hard. Though secretive about some of the strategies, he said voters should prepare themselves for severe burns like, “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”, “What did you say? I have a problem hearing nonsense?” and “I know you don’t think much, but think about getting lost.”