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August 14, 2015
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Rumors have begun swirling that former Vice President Al Gore is considering another run for the White House in 2016. He are the Pros and Cons of a possible Al Gore Presidency.

Rumors have begun swirling that former Vice President Al Gore is considering another run for the White House in 2016. He are the Pros and Cons of a possible Al Gore Presidency:


PRO: No more Tipper so he can blare Prince’s “Pussy Control” as loud as he wants from the oval office.

PRO: He enjoys kissing babies the exact right amount that doesn’t make him either a perv or an unfeeling monster.

PRO: Al Gore invented the internet so probably can help us with that virus we got from RedTube.

PRO: Rage Against The Machine owes him one after losing him the 2000 election with that music video where they mushed his face together with George W. Bush’s.

PRO: Would become the first solid oak president.

PRO: He’s very pro-environment which is good because we all live in the environment.

PRO: Already knows all the good hiding spots for when everyone plays Oval Office Hide & Seek.

PRO: Has never seen a naked woman, so he’s focused.

PRO: Likely has very firm opinions on sandals with support for the heel, so we have that to look forward to?


CON: Many voters are reluctant to vote for a candidate they would have trouble picking out of a lineup of one.

CON: If you’re ever drinking with him in the Oval Office and go to toss your empties he’ll def give one of those really patronizing “Um…actually we recycle those…”

CON: If he wins we’re all going to have to sit through a ton more Powerpoint presentations.

CON: Darryl Hammond will never leave SNL again.

CON: He’ll have to halt production on his An Inconvenient Truth sequel, Inconvenient Too!: Truth In Space.

CON: Has never changed out of his blue suit, an achilles heel North Korea will soon exploit.

CON: He’ll have to put his new at-home dessert venture “the Gore S’more” on hold.

CON: Might lose his temper and tell ISIS to stop being so snippy.

CON: He has the charisma of Al Gore.

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