The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker is a comedy drama about a street of shops
in Old Forge and Singing Anvil in England . Here's a flavour
Wayne buys a derelict pub and his wife is pregnant with twins , things could not be worse , Mrs Murphy comes to the rescue with a loan , and 2 sets of twins the builders work for nothing , God looks down and helps too , Wayne discovers a hidden cellar underneath the cellar , its full of 40year old whisky left over from the war WWII , the pub was where the local black marketeer left everything . Wayne and family are saved
The Undertaker has a feud with the traffic warden for putting a parking ticket on his hearse. On the way there' a Jazz funeral, a teddy bear called Patrick, a dog called hairy Amjit who has a mind of his own. The Undertaker’s son leaves the business and Percy is at a loss, his son returns with a Prodigal Son plea for forgiveness, "Father forgive me, I now know that computers are not for me, there is no love in computers , but in our business there is love and compassion .
The Undertaker tries to blackmail a bent builder who is going to demolish the street of shops where they all live. Peace is restored so the Undertaker becomes the election agent for the builder and takes him on a tour of all the rest homes, so that the builder ends up getting into the Houses of Parliament. The dodge bookie Smiling Paul has a bet on the election and wins 1million pounds. The Undertaker is furious until her hears that Smiling Paul had a road to Damascus experience and gave away all the money to help save the Chinese restaurant business of his Chinese friends. So Smiling Paul becomes a man of honour, and gets a stunning girlfriend on the way, because the Chinese must honour him. The finale is a kidnap and rescue of the infant daughter of the corner shop owner, united the street of shops saves the day .
The writing is funny and tongue in cheek, if some readers see it just as a ma and pa book then good, but if they step back they will see that I'm gently poking fun at my characters . Such as Big Sid the butcher who is like a year around Santa. Patrick the baker is trying to have a love life but all the street knows his every move. His mother is relieved when finally he meets the right girl, a virgin, who turns out to be the only daughter of the man who saved the bakery many years before , to Patrick's mum its a miracle and the will of God .
Bible belt people, simple honest folk will love the book, and forgive Patrick's stupidity because, heck he's a good boy. The New Yorkers and California will love it too because they'll just laugh at the other side of the tale, The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker is for everybody, and in translation it will find a bigger audience . I predict 15million sales in USA alone. I finish with a poem from Percy the Undertaker
The Dead and The Living (c)
I first saw a deceased when I was nine years old, my father said not
to worry as the dead are the same as the living, only the laughter
has left them , the sparkle has gone from their eyes , the worry has
been lifted from their shoulders , and their voice has vanished to
In paradise the sparkle will return for it is the twinkle of the
stars, the laughter will return too for it is the morning breeze and
the turning tides are their sides shaking with laughter.
I treat the deceased with the same courtesy as I give to the living,
though I find the deceased are always more polite . My father also
had a few words to say about the living .
He said that the living are only the caretakers of the soul, yet
they think their existence is everything, that they know everything
because they experience many things with their senses.
What the living don't acknowledge is that their time is short and
when I lay their bodies to rest then their souls continue without
them, without their strong , without their weak , without their
beautiful or even ugly temporary form , to where I cannot say , only
that it is a better place .
Percy the undertaker placed the lid on the coffin, the soul was free
That’s all , now make me an offer
So go to Amazon Kindle and buy 3 books and a play from me all for under 12dollars, what a bargain. Then set up a Facebook Campaign so I can get a print publisher and get Shoplife on Broadway