29 Funny Votes
3 Die Votes
Published: April 30, 2014
Description: Despite his amazing high school accomplishments, Alan Otto's low college extracurricular involvement hurts his resume.


Alan Otto proves his superior intelligence at a high school science fair


PITTSBURGH, PA- Former Nobel Prize winner Alan Otto struggles to find himself a job for the summer after his sophomore year of college.  Twenty-year-old Otto, who discovered the cure to cancer during his junior year of high school, has applied to multiple institutes in hopes of being a research assistant, but unfortunately, he has no work experience post-high school to mention in his interview.  "[Alan Otto] seems like a really good kid, but when looking at applicants his age, we refuse to take any high school experiences into account," said Todd Bellows, Manager of Student Positions at Carnegie Mellon Research Facility. Bellows continues, "High school experiences just do not make direct correlations to real-life conditions.  As challenging as some things may seem in high school, the work place is much different two years down the road.  We chose to go with another, more experienced candidate; he has work experience cleaning toilets in a school cafeteria for a year."  After graduating high school, Otto spent all his free time catching up with his father, a previous cancer patient.  Otto's dad chimed in, "I tried to tell him to set his priorities straight, but some boys just want to be rebels. Not having work experience from his first two years just comes off as laziness."​

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