"There was no such thing as kissing"
"Pick the shit up, DAWG!"
Situation: "Hi, I'd like to place an order for delivery please"
Takeout Employee: "What's your name please"
Takeout Employee: "A name?"
Situation: "Yes, the Situation capital S-I-T-U-A-T-I-O-N"
Takeout Employee: "Whatever man, what's the order?"
"Wa-La! Ms. Cock-Blocker of the century comes out."
J-WoWW threatened to beat Angelina's ass) "You know I've seen J-WoWW in
the gym, and I've even had a little taste and...that's like Rocky vs.
Apollo, Rocky doesn't have a shot."
"My name's Pauly D and Ronnie's name is 'FUCKED'"
"Ronnie's new nickname is I.F.F. I.F.F. is the I'm Fucked Foundation, he's a client and the President."
(To The Situation) "They should call you the Instigation"
boss seems to think that my hair is gonna fawl off and go into the ice
cream. This hair ain't movin' my dude, 150 mph on the highway on a
streetbike, doesn't move. What makes you think it's gonna move in a
"We sit on the couch in our tank tops before it's T-Shirt Time"
look up and I see Angelina, she's dancing with girls. I mean I think a
lotta girls like both now a days anyway so it's not really suprising,
but, it's interesting."
(In the LOUDEST voice Pauly D has ever used) "ARE YOU TOUCHING ME!?"
(Holding up a scandalous bra) "Are these for boobs?"
her completely fake diamond in-crested new Sunglasses) "If I get pulled
over I'm gonna get in trouble for these...but when you put them on
can't really see, so I don't think you can drive with them cause you'll
get a ticket.
(Immediately after she opens the fridge and the chicken falls onto the floor out of the fridge) "I didn't do it!"
(Somone calling on the phone calling: 'Can I speak to Angelina please?")
Snooki: "No, she died."
It's funny how all of her quotes needed a pre-explanation.
"The sex shop is perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect, it's my scene..."
"She played like, tight end for the Giants"
"Snooki is a walking disaster, everywhere she goes, she falls, everything she touches, drops...she just attracts drama.
(To Snooki, while she's cleaning the floor) "I'm teaching you how to be a woman."
"I don't know what he's thinking, I don't know why he slept in my bed, I don't know"
"We went to a tranny shop, cause there was like hot club clothes that trannies would wear"
(To J-WoWW about a top she was about to buy) "I feel like one wrong move your whole boob's gonna be hangin out"
"This morning I'm a feeling a little hungover and I'm like Whaaaat the fuck...I don't even remember how I got into the bed."
"I wake up and I was like [looks both ways] alright I'm home."
"I had a Snook night"
(After his epic night of dancing, faces, and make outs) "I danced with like one or two girls, it wasn't even anything serious."
"It's not 'Saved By The Bell' we're not fuckin' Zach and Kelly, you know, it's weird."
(When Snooki and her are arguing) "This is high school shit"
Snooki: "YOU are high school shit!"
"I'm gonna be here forever"
"I'm not gonna downgrade myself"
"It's not like anybody's gonna be my friend after this anyway"
Pauly D: "That's true."
"Talking to a girl that was AKA married!"
Check back next week for what I believe, is about to be an amazing episode 3!
Hall of Fame