I wonder what Freud would make of my fairly aggressive case of "spaghetti envy." I have a psychological condition which makes me very jealous of anyone eating spaghetti. Commercials make me drool. Even horrible 80s cop movies where someone always seems to get hilariously trapped in a dumpster which is for reasons unknown always filled with spaghetti...I watch them picking it out of their hair and I think "Mmmmmmmmm...spaghetti." Yah. I'm all for dumpster spaghetti. The fact that it's touched other garbage doesn't faze me in the least. It wouldn't be so bad, but I suck at cooking spaghetti and it just doesn't satisfy. All that spaghetti splattered across the faces of toddlers, spaghettu getting meticulously rolled onto forks specifically for face stuffing and even if not ESPECIALLY 80s dumpster spaghetti makes me think everyone's getting some but me.