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Published June 11, 2011

 Barclay Montrose Part 2:



   Barclay signed a record deal and immediately moved to LA to begin recording his self-titled debut album titled "Barclay Montrose".  The first single on "Barclay Montrose", titled "Barclay Montrose" spread like wildfire in the College Chinese Folk Punk scene.  He started hobnobbing with Hollywood A-Listers like Ian Ziering and Gabrielle Carteris.  He attended parties at The Playboy Mansion, albeit as a caterer, but nevertheless, he was still at the Playboy Mansion which is more than you can say.

  Slowly, the once serine boy-monk was turning into a Hollywood dirt bag.  He stopped his meditation practices and started talking on the phone a lot, saying things like, "We gotta make this happen baby.  Show me the money! Booy-Yah! That's what I'm talkin' about.  Wassssuuuupp. Yo Quiero Taco Bell?"  He got spiky platinum blond hair like that d-bag Applebees guy.  "Entourage" was his favorite show and Vin Diesel was his favorite actor.  He got a girlfriend just so he could cheat on her.  He made friends just so he could sleep with their wives.  He borrowed sugar and never returned it.



  What happened to the once enlightened young Barclay?  Where did his faith go and why was he looking at himself in the mirror during sex?  He had strayed so far from his path, he had almost forgotten his life in the monastery.  It seemed like centuries ago.  In 2004, at the age of 26,  Barclay released his second album titled, "Leave Me Alone".  It was universally panned by critics, calling it, "One of the worst things ever made" and comparing it to "A Lunchables sandwich served on a bum's taint."  People close to Mr. Montrose, claim he never spent a minute in the studio during recording.  They claim that he paid a young Mexican boy named Alejandro, who had no idea how to play the guitar, to cover for him in the studio.

   Barclay's music career was essentially over.  Any money he had left over was spent at the track.  He was broke, broken, and alone in the world.  How did he get here?  When did he give up on his path?  He had only one option left.  Get back on his Donkey "Pepe" and head east to New York.  Completely humbled, he showed up at the door of his old friend Mr. Leong.  Mr. Leong was so happy to see Barclay, he didn't bother to ask how he got a donkey up six flights of stairs.  Barclay accepted the old man's offer to stay on the pull out couch.  It was almost ten years later but nothing had changed.



  The old man and Barclay started playing music again.  They got a drummer and formed the band "Man Without Plan".  Once they got the slightest bit of recognition, Barclay kicked the old fucker out of the group and got a young, good looking replacement.  "Man Without Plan" had a plan that didn't involve old Chinese men.  When asked, "What happened to your path to enlightenment?", he replied, "Ya, I didn't feel like doin' that."

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