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Published September 20, 2011

I caught the premiere episode of The Playboy Club on NBC last night. and it seems it is eeriely similar to something I wrote in the past. Here's an excerpt so you can judge for yourself:

THE SUBWAY CLUB
By Jeff D’Silva
Date: One day before the The Playboy Club script was written

EXT. STRIP MALL - NIGHT

The opening sequence begins with an epic shot of a Connecticut strip mall, a jazzy voice sings the word “Connecticut” as the camera spirals around (implying to the viewer that it’s a different year than the current one). The year is 1965, the world is filled with free spirits, free love, and in some cases free food.

The all-too familiar voice of Subway spokesman Jared Fogle, or “Fog” as he is affectionately known by his harem of Bunslingers (the term of the time for what are now known by the more PC term “sandwich artists”), begins narrating a montage of a hip and happening joint in downtown Connecticut city.

JARED FOGLE

"The preppy, white bread, yankee doodle nutmeg state may have been all of the above, but I built a place in the clam chowder town where every loaf was handled.Where it didn’t matter if you had a foot long or a six inch, everyone got toasted. It was not the previous year anymore. No longer would the purchase of ten sandwiches have no effect on the purchase price of an eleventh sandwich. Welcome to Subway; where you can eat out and eat fresh."

CUT TO:
INT. SUBWAY RESTAURANT - NIGHT

All of a sudden a jazzy type of jazz music starts soundtracking a montage of action at the most hoppingest joint in town. Bread is tossed around, white, brown, Italian herb and cheese; it’s a veritable orgy of carbohydrates. Gaggles of Bunslingers are shown vigirously shaking squeezable condiments as if to imply masturbatory acts. It is literally raining banana peppers in slow motion. Sub sauce is dripped in between cleavage, separating bosoms like the oil and vinegar that the dressing is composed of. A man is shown entering the eatery sexily.

The man approaches the front counter of the eatery. He presents his Sub Club Card to the bunslinger at the register. Her apron, oversized green polo, and plastic gloves clung to her body in a way that made him hard like the bread you would find at a Quiznos.

BUNSLINGER

(sexily) "Can I take your order sir"

MAN
(also sexily) "I’ll have a meat ball marinara."

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