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November 04, 2014
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In our Daily Brief, we bring you the stories that even idiots are talking about today.

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Vote You Dummy:
Today’s Google Doodle tells you where you can vote. And if you are a Democrat, tomorrow’s Google Doodle will tell you where you can kill yourself.


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Secure Photo:
A security guard was fired after taking photo of President Obama’s motorcade during a visit to the CDC. Some good news: the picture got a solid 9 likes on Instagram!


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Actual Tape Mixtape:
A 1988 mixtape by Kurt Cobain has been found. No word yet on whether it will be taken off Spotify.


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If you don’t already know about this, you are too old for the internet:
The “Alex from Target” meme made a teenage Target employee into a teen idol overnight. The meme started with a photo showing the teen being completely capable of processing instant fame.


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Navy Squealers:
The head of the Navy SEALs has issued a public statement warning SEALs involved in the Osama bin Laden assassination mission against seeking public credit. He added that the only exception is for picking up chicks at a bar.


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